Friday, December 14, 2012

Feeling' the Love

Today the land of better living has me feeling the love!

First....I went to the gym this morning and got in 45 minutes of the whole walk/jog intervals.  Yes, they are getting boring.  But I keep telling myself it is a building phase.  I'm getting the joints and all the connective tissues used to running again.  I'm not pushing anything pace-wise, and I'm not pushing anything incline-wise, I'm just building.  Come spring, my legs and joints and all that goodness should be nice and ready to transition to pounding the pavement.

I just keep telling myself that.

Anyways, that's not the point.  The point is that at the gym there is this totally bad-ass-shit-brickhouse of a girl.  (No, hard to believe, but it isn't me I'm talking about, lol!)  I've admired her since I've been going.  She's very thin, but put together.  Seriously.  I'm pretty sure she could take on all the peacocks* at the gym.  And she runs mad fast.  I've even seen her at some of the events I've run in.

As I was putting on my sweatshirt and getting ready to leave the gym she asked, "You're in Breakfast Club Runners, right?"  Holy moly.  Awesome chick was talking to me.  Me!  And she noticed enough about me to remember that I am in BCR!  O.M.G.  (Please note, the sweatshirt I was putting on was not a BCR one.)  I chatted with her about it for a little, and she said she might come tomorrow.


I'll tell you what.  The combination of losing weight, working to become healthier, striving to be in a good place emotionally at both work and home, certainly does wonders for the psyche.  I have become this totally outgoing, friendly being.  I remember when I was big, I was generally angry.  Just about every candid pic of me has a scowl of some sort.  I hated talking to people.  I was shy, to the point of appearing snobbish.  Now, I just chat away.  At work this week, I can't even count how many people have told me I'm so friendly, and great to work with, and helpful.....sheesh, my head is going to get big!  Not really.  I'm not like that.

That meeting set the tone for the rest of the day.  Around lunchtime, I checked out my Facebook page, and saw that an old high school friend posted on my page about how I (yes me!) inspired her to get fit and healthy!  Holy moly!  Like I've said before....I always have doubts about it interesting?  Do people really care?  Are people even reading it?  But....well, comments like that are why I blog.  Because five years ago I would have laughed in your face if you told me that at this point in my life I'd have run four half marathons, two Tough Mudders, two Warrior Dashes, a Ragnar Relay, some 10ks and 5ks and who knows what else.   And now, I do this stuff.  And if I can't do it, I miss it.  Crave it, even.  If I can do it....and learn to crave it, anyone can.  Seriously.

Then this evening, another high school friend posts on my wall, saying she finally got the chance to peruse my blog and that the pics on my blog don't look like me.  Which is sad, because it is true.  I look at them, and don't even recognize myself.  My wedding picture....I know it was me at that time, but I feel like it isn't ME.  I also feel like her and I are on a very similar journey.  She has a blog as well, and struggles with the same negative issues I do.  I'm working on improving the negative self-talk, but sheesh, it can be hard.  I do have to admit, finding a job in which I feel valued and respected helps things a lot.  Interesting how that works.

So blogging I will continue.

*I mentioned peacocks and put an asterisk by it way up there.  Peacocks, at the gym , are those dudes with the massive chests and shoulders that strut around like their shit don't stink.  I have to admit, after a good back/shoulder workout, I've been known to strut around like a peacock.  I'm just not douchey about it.


  1. funny
    My husband just explained to me what that was last week!

    I thought u were friendly in high school, makes me sad to read that u felt angry all the time but I so get it.

    I had such a bad eating day today, im trying to not dwell on it. I keep thinking about all the activitys u do and they sound like fun. I need to get my butt in gear and move more.

    1. In high school I wasn't so angry. I just felt like an outcast. Aside from my core group of friends, I just assumed everyone either hated me or made fun of me. Looking back, it might have all been in my head, but who knows. I don't look back on high school fondly, except for band. I think the angriness came more in college. College, and a few years after, was a really bad spot in my life.

      As for the eating, you just have to move on. I'm still not good at eating well all the time. I had a good breakfast. I had a good lunch. I had a decent dinner, but too much. I also ate some chocolate during the day. And a small piece of cake. Tomorrow I'm going to a Christmas party and I'll eat too much. And on Christmas day I'm going to the Chinese buffet, and I'm looking forward to stuffing my face. But I'm trying to be smart most of the time. Moving helps balance things out. Because I like to eat. A lot.

  2. We are good friends now and I have said this before, but you joined BCR before the relay event. You were new to running and you wanted to do the relay. With people you didn't know. That took balls. I think one of the first times we met you told people you hated being called Jennifer. So of course I called you Jennifer. I believe you said you were going to f ing kill me. That was cool too. You don't do the stuff you do without being tough. I respect that, Jennifer. People should know your story. It is a good one. Bobifer